Tongue in Cheek

In the department where I work, we have a cardboard pair of glasses labelled "Drama Queen," complete with fuzzy blue feathers. There is a tradition of passing them around, to whomever has the most drama in a given day or week (or month). Some winning scenarios have been: being bitten by a chipmunk that was "playing possum," requiring a series of rabies shots; 4 episodes in a week of having an ambulance come in the middle of the night, taking a family member to the ER; a spouse having a major back problem, prompting a week in the hospital; a second grader being suspended, requiring mom to leave work to pick him up. The types of drama vary greatly.

I find myself, when I am claiming the drama in my life, making it as funny as possible. This way, I am getting some attention for my troubles, but making people laugh so it is not as annoying as simply whining about life's problems. Maybe the coming full moon (this Sunday, June 7) is evincing itself in my life this week, or something: the Drama Queen glasses are clipped to my in bin.

One of my friends asked me if there is a poem to be found in my issues, so I quickly put something together just for laughs, and decided to post it for its entertainment value. I hope it gives you a chuckle. If you can relate, please, share your stories in a comment! I plan for future posts to become increasingly literary musings on life, people and the world, but enjoy this one for today. The only background info I need to add is that this IS Open Enrollment season, the busiest time of year for me, requiring lots of focus & work, so the worst possible time for problems to crop up. Of course.

A Week in the Life…

The fridge started whining. Then it stopped running.
The stink from the trash was actually stunning

to the senses. The appliance store
was sending a guy, but he asked for more

money than the office had said.
I called for Appliance Wizard instead.

They’d send someone, no problem, next day.
My ex would wait there, good thing, I’ll say

since one kid got sick. My bet
with sore throat and headache, was strep.

The fridge got fixed.
The kid was still sick

next day, but I gave him a pill
and sent him in, ill

‘cuz I had to see the GYN at 9
for follow up. Thought all was fine

but instead had a mystery.
There was no sign of my IUD.

It was MIA. No strings, not a hint
of where the damned thing went.

Did it fall out or just shift? Next round:
another office and copay, for an ultrasound.

Either it’s gone or in there but hiding
or it’s in there but sliding

Around. Then it’s surgery
and I say, cut tubes for me

in case the future holds fun
and romance. Enough! I’m done.


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