Functional, Just

This week's consisted primarily of struggling to keep going despite the whole household being afflicted with a particularly virulent cold. The boys and I stayed home Wednesday, but are really still just getting over it. Still, we were all up and out the door before 6 yesterday morning, off to check in other volunteers for Walk Now for Autism Speaks Philadelphia. The Walk event is one of our favorite things that the boys and I do together every year. We've spent the rest of the weekend recovering, though, with naps and nebulizers and lots of loafing.

There's not really much else to tell. Congested lungs make my brain work very sluggishly. Just getting in to work and accomplishing a few tasks there pretty much sapped my abilities. Still, during my son's guitar lesson, I started reading Bel Canto (by Ann Patchett). Over the past several weeks, apart from Reviving Ophelia and snatches of poetry, I had been reading (I blush to admit) the first four books of the Marked series by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast. The books were passed on to me, and I can enjoy the hell out of light reading. Then I have to remind myself that my brain will go mushy if I don't read things that are written with an eye to beauty and excellence. Also I might forget the sheer joy of really good writing.

My friends tell me I am doing okay. With this cold, I haven't had any energy to spare to worry about whether I am doing okay or not. It's been all getting the kids cared for and getting them to school, getting to work, and sleeping. I have been sleeping and just lying down so much, I continue to be surprised that I can still sleep more. I am starting to use some of the time to just think and work on mapping out plans.

Wow. I could put my head down and fall asleep on the keyboard. I've already promised to avoid depressing posts; I promise no more of these exceedingly dull posts, either!

A man can tolerate anything except a succession of ordinary days. -- Goethe

Starting Over

Wow. Okay, no more of the really depressing posts that I've been putting out lately. Good thing I restrained myself yesterday. Either I really am, at this point, a miserable and misanthropic reactionist or there has been a small army of idiocy-spouting men around me like a cloud of pesty flies. Add that to the head cold and the fact, which I eventually realized, that I forgot to take meds yesterday morning and it is no surprise that by yesterday afternoon I was a complete basket case.

A hot shower, getting up and about, taking the meds and splurging on pizza for dinner started to turn things around. Papa Johns also, I think, mistakenly gave me an extra free pizza with my free pizza coupon, which made it even better (I did have the delivery guy check, though, or I would feel like I had stolen it. Guilt on top of depression is very bad. I'm sensitive to guilt).

My older son and I have this stinky cold. He was planning to stay home from school today, but it wasn't happening. Not after all the prep I did to be sure I got the kids to school on time (and I did). Also he just likes to stay home, so I have to push him. I like to stay home, too, but this is real life. I follow my mom's premise, which is that if a kid is really sick, he will be able to convince you of it or he's going to school. I can remember finally getting her to check my temperature once in third grade, with my school uniform on, to find that I had a fever of 103. That was the first time I'd ever had the flu. Yuck.

Anyway, please bear with me. I suppose though that the only one who thought I'd get through the major life changes and disappointments without days like these, was me. Silly Barb. But I'm still pushing through to the other side.

We don't have to live great lives. We just have to understand and survive the ones we've got. --Andre Dubus, Voices from the Moon